They have offered me a raise at my job to be Bookkeeper. School seems to be getting in the way, andddd I don't really know if I'm completely cut out for that job. I mean, I'm sure I could do it. I'm just scared that I wont be like.. that great at it. I think I'm just doubting myself all together because even at school, I just really don't feel like I'm talented enough for this. can you make yourself more talented at something? I guess with time and practice comes more.. skill, and I guess that goes hand in hand with talent.. I don't know. It's only the second term so I really shouldn't be doubting myself. 3 years is a long time. and I don't know, if I'm being practical so much changes in 3 years. it scares me too with the commitment I've made... if he ever read this he would not be happy. and do not get me wrong I am completely serious about our relationship and serious about school and loving him. but like I said 3 years seems so long. I don't see myself with anyone else and I love him so much but at times it's difficult to picture that far ahead. maybe I just need to stop thinking about it like that. I'm happy today and that's all that matters.
We're starting this new project in digital editing and it's dealing with textures so we need to make a story line in order to make a scene to use our textures in. so far I have 3 story ideas, and I'm very indecisive. The first I thought of literally on the way to school today just in my own little world before I even knew of the project. I was driving and the sun was in my face and I had this thought that an interesting story would be if the sun was composed of, well not people.. but another race and that is what we see and they have access to all of the planets, but they are forbidden from one, Earth. One of the creatures becomes outlawed and he finds his way to Earth and eventually falls in love with this girl yadda yadda. but then the leader of the sun inhabitants finds his whereabouts and they invade earth. I don't know I'll need to think on it. The second is about Dave, which is my initial animated character idea. it's basically Dave and a cricket named Dinner, and Dave refuses to eat Dinner because he is Dave's best friend, so he only eats meal-worms and lettuce. and they have adventures. :P something for kids or something. The last has to do with two planets Earth and another, both with life on them. Every person on Earth has an alternate other on another planet who is their opposite but leads the same life. and they meet or something along those lines. They all need work but it's a start and I'm pretty excited for it
I miss Josh. Which is weird because we never had like that strong of a relationship, (as in a friend) but it just seems like it's been too long since I've had an update on how he's doing. I want him to meet Jose. I think it'd be really interesting. I hope he's doing well and that he is still able to withhold his relationship with his new woman. well new to me, since I just heard about her.
I talked to my friend Amanda about snowboarding, and it seems like a lot of fun, even though I suck at it and go down the mountain backwards haha. But I have only gone once so whatever. maybe a second time is what I need to start facing forward. I really wanna go but I'm all of the sudden afraid of the lift again. :P I really miss her too, she's a lot of fun to hang out with.
hmmm I have so much that I think about but I'm so hesitant to post it, I really don't want someone to take something I say wrong for their sake and of course for mine. but then again why should I care? I'm just speaking my mind after all.
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